Something you have to forgive someone for:
I find that in general I'm not a very forgiving person. I think there are a few quotes that sum up my opinions on forgiveness when someone has wronged or hurt me.
I've heard it said, to err is human
It's forgiveness that's divine
I thought about forgiving you, but
I want revenge, I want what's mine
I think it's time to settle scores now
It's time to set the record straight
You'll know it's coming, you won't know how
Or when, you'll have to watch and wait
I know this quote seems a bit extreme. You're probably right. I honestly can't think of anything in my life that I really need to forgive someone for. I guess I should forgive Lance and his mom for what Happened to Matty. I've held a lot of pain inside and contempt that has been directed toward them. But deep down I know that what happened to him wasn't their fault. I guess it's their fault for having a loaded gun just chillin on their mantle in the living room. I guess it's their fault for condoning someone who was showing signs of depression to start drinking. It's real smart to add a depressant to the mixture of someone's depression. These are all circumstances that I guess none of us really foresaw as being a problem. Other than that I guess I should forgive every jerk I've known since grade school who has picked on me, bullied me, and broken me down for being overweight. You all made me feel isolated, made it harder for me to be social, and I don't really know what to think about you. I know that everyone deals with their own insecurities and blah blah blah.... "insert some generic and archaic excuse for their behavior" but really, I want to know your insecurity and use it to make fun of you. I want to break you all down the way you did to me. You made it so hard for me to trust others in any form of friendship. However, thanks to you I know who I can trust and I know the signs for a jerk coming into my life. So I guess that is something I can thank you for. Maybe you helped me form the think skin I need to enter the real world and make me fearless. I don't know. Really I don't give a fuck about any of you because I have the people in my life who I can trust and who love me (as a friend) for who I am the way I am. You're not worth this post and you're not worth my time.
It breaks my heart to hear stories about young adults who feel so depressed by bullying that they consider taking their life. I'm thankful that I was never someone who took it that far. Granted, I do have a few scars on my own body from minor self mutilation when I didn't know how to handle or control the pain. For me, I guess that was a phase, and a phase of my life that I do not desire to reflect upon in any amount of deeper detail. I just hope people know that it can and will get better. Their situation will change. There is someone out there who can make it all worth it. Maybe it's a best friend, or a lover. I know that because I've had my best friend for the past 9 years of my life everything has been a lot easier. I just know I can survive and when I don't think I can all I have to do is talk to her.
No comments:
Post a Comment